In Terms of Idiocy
by Die Heiresses
Summary: Hermione is in over her head. With an unrequited crush on one of her best friends and drama going down with the awful Lavender Brown, she can't deal with much more. When she's assigned a partner from another house, will she benefit, or will this make things that much worse? Note: this isn't complete. It may show up as such, but this is still very much in progress.
1. A Message Posted

The message was posted on the wall in all four common rooms. It read:

 _To the students of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry:_

 _It has come to my attention that a dangerous divide lies between Hogwarts' houses. While this was true even in my day, we lie on the brink of war, and we cannot afford to harbor such hostility. Therefore, and with much thought, I have decided the best course of action is thus:_

 _All students will be paired with a partner of the same year from a different house. These partners will be your academic companions as well as social ones, and you will be required to meet with your partner at least once a week, although I daresay more is preferable._

 _These partners are to collaborate with you on schoolwork as well. Some teachers may elect to give you joint projects. Because of this, your partners will be assigned based on academic standing._

 _You will receive your assignments later this week. Any further questions should be directed at your heads of house._

 _I realize that this is an unorthodox strategy, but I urge you to give it a try. If, after a minimum of five meetings, you wish to end your partnership, so be it._

 _Albus Dumbledore_

A crowd had begun to form around the message board, but Hermione stayed in place, reading the message once, twice, three times. Where had this come from?

She considered Dumbledore's plan. It was, like he'd said, unorthodox, and she pitied the poor fool stuck with Malfoy, but it could work.

She wondered who she'd get. There was no one else who was quite on her level, she thought, but she could think of several Ravenclaws that might come close.

Hermione felt a tap on her right shoulder, then her left. She knew who it was without looking. God, the pranksters. They had some nerve, bothering her this way. She turned to say something to that effect, but was yanked away at the last second by none other than Lavender Brown.

"'Mione!" Lavender squealed. Great. Just great. "You're just the person I'm looking for!"

Hermione frowned. She didn't like nicknames. She refrained from telling Lavender this, though, since it hadn't done much good the countless other times she'd tried. "What is it?"

Lavender looked unpreturbed by Hermione's mood. "Well, I wanted to talk about Ron and how-"

Hermione's mood darkened even further, and she tried desperately to keep off her face. "Sorry, Lavender. I've got to go. Later?"

Lavender nodded, and Hermione ducked through the crowd to reach Ron, who was looking, along with the rest of the crowd, at the message. She pulled at his arm.

"Come on. Let's go. I've Duplicated the thing anyway." This was true. The paper scroll weighed down her robe pocket.

But Ron pushed her away. He was staring, she realized, not at the message but at the rather buxom seventh year in front of him. Hermione couldn't find it in her heart to be disgusted. After all, she wouldn't complain if he'd looked at her like that.

Like she was a potential object of desire. Was that too much to ask for? Just because she wore shapeless cardigans any time she wasn't wearing the even more shapeless school robes. That was why she'd gone out with Viktor Krum, actually. He'd asked her out, and not as a last resort.

But whatever. She could find other boys, right?

 **A/N:**

 **Harry Potter isn't mine (fun fact) and I'm not making any profit off of this.**

 **I'll include pairings later on, but I decided not to list the ones I'm going to include in the tags, since my plan gets pretty messy (and some pairings may be platonic, actually).**

 **If you liked this, please review, favorite, or bookmark so I know to keep writing more. Otherwise, I may get sidetracked.**


	2. Common Room, Drama Room

Hermione, Ron, Fred, and George sat in the common room doing homework. They had yet to receive partner assignments, but most of her classmates had been pulled at various times in the day. Hermione was anxious to find out, and this made her jittery. Harry had asked her multiple times to stop tapping her pen on the table, a habit she normally found insufferable.

But Harry was gone. He'd been called thirty minutes ago. Hermione assumed he was meeting with his partner now, to get it over with.

Hermione tapped her fingers on the edge of her armchair, distracted from her Transfiguration homework. She felt a hand still her fingers. She looked up, to see George Weasley, who'd apparently stolen the armchair next to hers from Fred. He had a scheming look on his face. Hermione scowled.

"Can you please bother someone else right now?" Hermione was sick of stupid distractions. "I'm actually trying to get something done here." George, the infuriating arse, actually grinned at her. Then he lept up.

"So sorry to bother you, 'Mione." George danced away.

"Don't call me that." Hermione was practically growling. He should definitely have known better.

"Whoops! I meant Herms." George actually giggled at this. Honestly. What kind of lunatic would giggle in this situation?

Hermione opened her mouth to retort with some choice swear words—she wasn't above cussing in situations like this—but Fred, of all people, beat her to the punch.

"You arse. That's no way to treat a lady." So now she was a lady. Great. If only Ron would take the same stance, she'd be set.

Fred elbowed George out of the way and sat down next to Hermione. He stared awkwardly at George.

"Do you mind?" Fred looked meaningfully at George. George looked understanding, and walked—nay, scampered—away, up to his dorm.

The dorm suddenly began to feel very empty—at least until Ron made a big show of closing his Potions textbook, which killed the mood. Killed the mood? Who was she, Lavender Brown?

Fred evidently felt the same way, and he coughed meaningfully in Ron's direction. Ron ignored him. Fred coughed again, and again Ron ignored him.

"Ron, could you—that is—do you mind leaving Hermione and me be?"

Ron scowled. "I most certainly will not! She's my friend. I don't want to subject her to that kind of torture."

Interesting. Fred, not knowing what to say? Odd. And him wanting to be alone with her? Even odder. Hermione would talk this over later with Ginny, she decided. She might have some insight into Fred's logic.

A moment later, though, the Fat Lady's portrait swung open, and Professor McGonagall clambered in. She glanced approvingly at Hermione's partly-finished Transfiguration homework, then raised her glance to Hermione's eyes.

"Hermione, if you would come with me," McGonagall said primly, "Your partner is waiting."

 **A/N**

 **Thank you for reading this far, and I hope this isn't too boring. I will probably pick up the pace sometime soon (or not), and introduce some of the ships I mentioned.**

 **Please** **review! You love getting reweived! I love getting reviewed. For the love of cheese, please review!**

 **And actually, in case that helps, I'll give you fictional cheese if you review. A choice between Asiago and Brie.**

 **If** **anyone has any title ideas, my current one is kind of stupid. It'll make sense later (I hope) but if you can think of anything else, please please please tell me.**

 **Oh** **yeah. I don't own Harry Potter (actually, if you haven't realized that by now, I … don't know what to say) and no, I'm not making any money off of this.**

 **See** **ya!**


	3. Partners (Like it or Not)

Hermione stood in front of the door to McGonagall's office. McGonagall had kindly given her a moment to compose herself after she'd noticed Hermione's nerves.

Gosh. This was really happening. This could be epic. Her partner could turn out to be her new best friend. Or better yet, her soulmate!

Where were these thoughts coming from? Hermione did her best to banish them from her head. Then she turned the doorknob.

She didn't immediately recognize the blond head facing away from her. Perhaps it was that she couldn't see his signature smirk. Or maybe it was that he hadn't said anything cocky or rude just yet.

"Hermione, you already know Draco, correct?" Hermione nodded mutely. Of all the possibilities she'd envisioned, Malfoy was not one she'd considered. She blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"But you aren't smart enough to be paired with me!" McGonagall looked disapproving at Hermione's rudeness.

But Malfoy turned, and replied smugly, "I actually have the highest grades in my House. Granger."

Well. There wasn't any hope Malfoy would be polite in the first case, was there?

Hermione decided to match snark with snark. "Well. Congrats. Malfoy."

McGonagall looked overwhelmed. "Students," she began.

Malfoy cut in. "Would you like to go to the library, Granger?" McGonagall seemed relieved. She veritably pushed them out through the door.

Once they were outside, Malfoy turned sharply. "Where are you going?" Hermione was confused. He was going the wrong direction for the library.

Draco laughed. "Come, now, Granger," he said. "You can't possibly think I want to go to the library with you."

The git. They didn't have to make friends, but for goodness's sake couldn't they at least follow directions.

Hermione gave him her best glare. This was usually reserved for Ron or one of the twins, but it seemed to do the trick. Draco sighed.

"I don't have the energy to deal with this tonight." Draco shook his head. "Fine. We can meet on Saturday. Will that do, Granger?"

Hermione nodded. Honestly, she was surprised. She didn't think she'd heard him say this many words to her before without insulting her.

But she needent have worried. As she stalked away, she heard him mutter, "Idiot mudblood."

 **A/N:**

 **Thanks again for reading this far, and especially to people who favorited, liked, and followed this! You let me know that you like this stuff. So thanks. Gosh, I sound like a celebrity. I'm not. Fun fact.**

 **Review! Review! Review! I'm not going to offer a bribe this time. Do it out of the goodness of your heart! (Is that cheesy? Definitely. Do I actually sort of love cheesy stuff? Also definitely!)**

 **Um. This isn't going to be a cheesy clichèd Dramione romance, if that's what you're thinking. (I really do like some of those, but on the off chance that you don't, never fear! This will be different. Although there might be some Dramione. But I parenthesise.)**

 **I don't own Harry Potter. You know it, I know it. We all do. I don't know what, if anything, writing this will do in any case, but whatever. There's no reason not to.**

 **Bye!**


	4. Typical Ron

After Draco's fit the previous day, he was remarkably civil to her in class.

And by civil, she meant he ignored her, but whatever. It was what it was.

But apparently she wasn't the only one who noticed. During class the next day, when Draco needed more elderberries, he walked all the way to the supply cupboard across the room rather than accept her proffered handful.

Ron cursed under his breath. "The git!"

Honestly, it was actually a nice change from his usual constant jibes and insults. But Hermione wasn't about to say that. She didn't want to sound like she approved of anything he'd done, since she didn't. He was being less of an arse than usual, that was all.

"Yeah," she said. "He tried to skip meeting with me after we were paired. Can you believe it?

Ron shook his head. "I'd have been grateful if I were you. Do you honestly want to spend time with him?"

"Ron, you know-" Hermione started.

Ron shook his head. "Rules, I know, Hermione. You know, you can relax, okay? Susan Bones and I just talked for five minutes and we were fine!" Ron lowered his voice as Slughorn passed. "Look, mate, all I'm saying is that there's no reason to be so uptight."

Hermione stood. "Professor, may I use the loo?" At his nod, Hermione rushed out and ran for the girls toilet, where she broke down in rather ungraceful tears.

Why was she so hurt by Ron's comments? Since when had Hermione taken things like that seriously?

And she wasn't really so uptight, was she?

She honked noisily on a tissue.

"What am I supposed to do?" she tried to say, but it came out garbled.

She needed to keep her stuff together, and get back to class.

But now Hermione's eyes were all puffy, and despite the bad grade she knew she'd get on the assignment, she couldn't bring herself to go back to class.

She heard a knock on the door, did her best to pull herself together, and called, "Come in."

 **A/N** :

 **Many thanks** **to everyone who reviewed. As always, please review. I'm trying to respond personally to everyone who reviewed, but some of you didn't log in, so I'll respond here:**

 **Guest:**

 **Lucius Malfoy has always seemed to be overly hard on Draco (at least to me), so I could see that being simply** **him having unreasonable expectations. Draco could have even gotten whatever the Wizarding equivalent to a B would be. Also, that was CS. They're a lot older now, and since Draco isn't an idiot (he's just really annoying) it's not impossible that he's got the best grades in his House. There aren't any Slytherin defined as smarter than him, so for the sake of this story, he's got good grades.**

 **About Dumbledore** **: yes, I think he would. He's shown before that he's willing to put students in danger for something that he believes in. He's passionate here about House unity, and someone has to be paired with Draco. He trusts and believes in Hermione. Also, the Heads of each house are primarily responsible for pairing people, and McGonagall has shown that she doesn't believe that Malfoy is guilty.**

 **Anyway** **, thanks for bringing up plot holes. I do sometimes forget to stitch them up, so thanks for pointing that out.**

 **Guest**

 **Well, I hope you like what you read. I get that Dramione isn't too everyone's liking**.

 **KewlChic29:**

 **I** **don't plan to give up on this one quite yet! The status: complete thing was my bad.**

 **Anyway** **, thanks, all, for reading. A reminder: I'm not J K Rowling. I know, what a surprise. I don't own this. I'm not making any money off of this.**

 **Bye**!


	5. Comfort: Or, Look at That Handkerchief

The first thing that Hermione noticed about the person who'd walked in was that they didn't belong in the girls bathroom.

Then her mind caught up to her eyes and she realized it was Harry, who really should have been in class. But, to be fair, Hermione really ought to have been there as well.

Harry crouched awkwardly next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"What did Ron do this time?" Harry asked, prompting Hermione to burst into tears again. He offered her a finely embroidered handkerchief. She blew her nose loudly.

"Where'd you get this?" Hermione sniffled. Harry wasn't exactly the type to keep a handkerchief on hand, especially one this nice.

Harry blushed uncharacteristically, and Hermione wanted to press further, but Harry shook his head.

"Nowhere. Feel better now?" Hermione nodded. "Did Ron insult you again? You know he's been extra cranky ever since Lavender and he broke up. She keeps bothering him."

Hermione nodded again. "And I get that, Harry, I really do." Hermione cast her eyes downward. "But you don't understand. Some of the things he said, I. I. I don't know. I'm not really _that_ uptight, am I?"

Harry sighed, and shifted his feet. "Well..."

Hermione's anger bubbled over. "Just forget it, okay? We should go back to class." Hermione stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

As soon as she left, she felt bad about it. Harry hadn't done much wrong in the first place, and she was just taking her anger out on him. She was just about to turn in her heel and apologize, when a pink-manicured hand grabbed hers.

Hermione kept her eyes downcast. "Hello, Lavender," she said slowly. "Need something?"

When, after a long pause, she finally dared to look up, she was surprised to see what looked like Lavender's version of compassion in her eyes.

But Lavender's next words ruined the impression.

"Hermie!" Honestly, _Hermie_? Was Hermione so hard to pronounce? "We were going to chat about Ron!"

Hermione's heart sunk. Not now. Not here. "Yes," she said, not trying to keep annoyance out of her voice.

Lavender finally seemed to notice Hermione's tearstained face. Her face morphed into a pretty frown.

"What's wrong?"

Hermione laughed to herself. How had Lavender survived this long? Well, her pretty face probably helped. And her shapely body. And her naturally straight, normal-sized teeth.

"Ah — nothing." Hermione honestly didn't want to deal Lavender just this moment. She turned, and speed-walked away.

 **A/N:**

 **Sorry for such a short chapter. I had to accomplish a few things, and I promise I'll write more soon! Plot stuffs are coming soon!**

 **Thanks for reading. Review, please. Like I said, it makes me want to write more!**

 **I might up the rating, since I anticipate further violence or inappropriate-ness. Nothing too serious or extreme, but _you have been warned_.**

 **More stuff and things. Blah.**

 **Does anyone appreciate my bribes? Well, if you do, please award yourself a waffle. This can be fictional or real. You're cool. Waffles are cool.** **But leggo my eggo. You can't have any of my waffles.**

 **(I'm very proud of my culture references. I almost never get that kind of thing. Even my references _are_ a few decades too late.)**

 **Congrats to my sister. She was in a play this evening. Not that need to care, but she was cool.** **I don't own Harry Potter. (remember?) I don't make any money off of this.** **Bye!**


	6. Manners and Messy Handwriting

Hermione had been so distracted with the day's drama that she'd almost forgotten about her meeting with Draco. She caught up to him at lunch, and he confirmed, with surprising civility, that yes, they were to meet that evening in the library.

Ron surprised her as well by apologizing for his remarks in Potions.

"I'm sorry," he said. "That was really rude of me. I shouldn't have said that about you."

"I understand," Hermione said, though she couldn't help noticing how he'd never actually _said_ that she wasn't uptight. He'd only said that he'd been rude.

That evening, on her way to the library to meet Malfoy, she passed Harry. He didn't notice her, since he was clutching a scrap of paper and looking dejected. Hermione wanted to stop and ask him about it, but she didn't want to give Malfoy the opportunity to criticize her lateness. She just couldn't handle that right now. She'd ask later.

She hurried into the library at the appointed time, but she needn't have worried. Malfoy wasn't even there yet. Hermione pulled out a book and read.

She was almost halfway through the third chapter when Malfoy finally arrived. He sat down at the table, scowling.

"I hope you're glad we're meeting, mudblood." Woah. So maybe his relative politeness earlier had been a fluke. Hermione wasn't surprised. What could she really expect from him anyway?

"I had to cancel something important to be here. I hope we can make this quick." So the arse had a reason.

Hermione straightened the papers she'd brought. "Yes, actually. I was thinking we might read over each other's transfiguration essays?" At Malfoy's bored stare, she elaborated. "The extra credit one — did you do it?"

"Yes. Just a moment, I left it in my dormitory."Draco shrugged, unapologetic. "Accio, essay."

They waited until the parchment floated lazily in. Draco caught it with one hand — just because he'd bought his was onto the Slytherin quidditch team didn't mean he was completely without talent — and slid it toward Hermione. "Write your notes in red."

She handed him hers, and began to read.

After the first few paragraphs, Hermione was impressed. She could tell why he had his House's best grades. After all, cunning _was_ a Slytherin trait.

His point was the opposite of Hermione's — his argued that animagi should limited in number — and while it was an idiotic argument (that would _not_ help control anyone, it would only make people do it illegally) Hermione began to understand where he was coming from. Malfoy made a good point, even if it wasn't even close to correct.

But by the third paragraph, Hermione had to give up. It was beyond her how someone could write so messily.

"Do you even care if anyone can read this?" she asked incredulously.

Malfoy grinned lazily, and shrugged. "Not my problem. Here, I've corrected yours." He extended his arm only partially, forcing Hermione to lean uncomfortably over the edge of her chair.

Hermione took it from him, being careful not to touch his hand. Two could play at this game.

 **A/N:**

 **I** **don't own Harry Potter. I don't make any money off of this. I probably don't have to say this at this point, but whatever. Too much is better than too little, right?**

 **And, per usual, I'm going to beg you for reviews. No bribes, just do it out of the goodness of your heart or whatever.**

 **Name** **ideas? Mine, like I said, is really stupid. If you can come up with anything, please please please tell me.**

 **More** **stuff and things.**

 **Are my** **chapters too short? Right now I'm prioritizing update speed over length, but that can change if you don't like my bite-sized style.**

 **Okay** **. Um. Bye, now!**


	7. Hey, Look! She's Got a Date!

Hermione could get used to this. She'd met with Draco again to go over her essay and they'd spent half the time insulting each other, but they both left with substantially better work. Honestly, Hermione was surprised.

But when she tried to tell her friends this, it didn't go so well.

"So you're saying you _like_ him?" Ron said. He was sitting in an armchair by the fire. "Draco _freaking_ Malfoy?"

"No, that's not what I meant." Hermione was exasperated. The one time anyone ever even considered that she might actually _have_ a sexuality, that she might _like_ someone — and they thought it was Draco Malfoy. Great. "I was just saying that-"

An amused voice interrupted her. "You were saying what, Hermione?" It was Fred. Again. Over the past few weeks she'd been fairly sure he was flirting with her at least a few times. It was a nice feeling.

Fred laid a hand on her arm, and Hermione didn't move away. "Nothing," she said, trying to stay nonchalant. After all, she was fairly sure that Fred liked her. And he wasn't unattractive. Someone was finally considering her an object of desire. Hermione was practically giddy.

Even if it wasn't the person she'd hoped it would be.

Seamus Finnigan stuck his head out from the boys dorm room staircase. "Oi! Ron!" Ron grunted. "Come up here? Dean's trying to convince us to come with him over the holiday and play soccer. To finally settle the debate and all!" Ron looked torn, but after a moment jogged up to join Seamus.

Hermione stared at the spot where Ron had sat. It suddenly felt very different in the common room.

"So," Fred said, breaking the silence. He was a lot quieter with no one there. "What's up with you?"

Hermione shrugged. "Nothing much. School. You?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Pranks and the like." Hermione was struck by how different Fred talked when George wasn't along to finish his sentences. _I don't really know Fred at all apart from George_ , Hermione realized. What was he like? What were his interests? Who _was_ he?

"... but you know, it might not happen." Fred had been talking to her. Oops!

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" Hermione blushed.

Fred looked down, and now she was the one in control of the situation. It was disconcerting.

"I was just, um, asking you for advice about this girl I like? I'm trying to decide whether to ask her out or not." Hermione thought she knew where this was going. If this was a book this would definitely mean that Fred wanted to ask her out. His earlier flirtations would make sense, then.

But this wasn't a book, and a small piece of Hermione worried that she'd misinterpreted his comments and this was actually about another girl.

Hermione decided to play along. She could live a little. It was about time for her to step outside her comfort zone for once.

"Well," Hermione said. "If you like her, then go for it."

Fred smiled sheepishly. "Well, um, Hermione, thanks." He didn't look her in the eye.

A cheerful face peeked down from the girls dormitory.

"Hermione — oh!" Lavender giggled, actually giggled. God. That girl. "Sorry. Don't let me interrupt you two!" And with that, she ducked back into the dormitory.

Hermione laughed awkwardly.

They sat in silence for a while, which gave Hermione a chance to think.

So she'd been wrong. So what? Not everyone had to be in love with her. But Fred really had led her on. That had been rude.

God, she was done with dating, and she had barely even kissed someone.

Hermione decided to go to bed. She'd reprimand Fred in the morning.

"I'm going to —" she started, just as Fred said, "Hermione, do you —" They stared awkwardly at each other for a moment, until Hermione plunged onward. Her mood had taken a turn for the worse after Fred's comments.

"I'm going to bed," she said, and turned to go to the girls dormitory. Fred watched mutely, his face unreadable. He was probably glad to be rid of the awkwardness.

When she got up to her dormitory, she flopped down on the bed. She sighed.

Almost immediately, Lavender pounced on her.

"I'm so glad you're … you know" Lavender wiggled her perfectly plucked eyebrows "with George."

Hermione had to laugh. "It's Fred, actually, and I don't think you have to worry about" Hermione wiggled her eyebrows, mocking Lavender.

Lavender pouted. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Hermione was in a vicious mood. "Why do you care, anyway? I thought you hated me."

"Actually," Lavender began, but a loud wailing sound cut her off. Hermione looked out to see that the drainage staircase had been turned into a slide. Someone had tried to get into the dormitory.

Probably Fred, she thought. But why would _he_ do that? He doubtless knew about the enchantment. And anyway, why would he want to talk to her? Hermione swung herself into the slide and whizzed down, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Fred stood there, ready to catch her. But she dodged his arms, scowling.

"What do you want?"

Fred looked startled by her grumpiness.

"What. Do. You. Want?" Hermione didn't have time for this.

"I. Um." Fred straightened himself up. "Hermione," he said, softly. "Go out with me?"

So she'd been wrong. This was a delightful turn of events!

"Oh." Fred positively shrank from disappointment. He was adorable. "Yes — I mean yes!" Fred threw his arms around Hermione. On an impulse, she kissed his cheek. Fred beamed.

"But I really do have to get back to bed." Fred nodded. "In the morning?" He nodded again, grinning, and Hermione bounded back up the stairs, which had returned to their natural state by that time.

Lavender had a knowing smile on her face when Hermione once again laid down on her bed.

"Shut it," Hermione said, but she was grinning too.

 **A/N:**

 **Wow! So it looks like this fic is gaining (a little bit of) traction, so that's great! Thanks again for reading.**

 **And** **I know I've said this before, but review review review! I will try to respond to every review, but it'll take time, and I might miss one or two. Sorry in advance.**

 **This may seem like I'm wrapping the story up, but nope! My guess is that I'm around a third through.**

 **Also:** **whoops! I was trying to keep this in keeping with the canon all the way through the fifth book (but obviously not 6 or 7). But I messed up! You probably already caught this, but the twins shouldn't be at Hogwarts. They left during** **book 5. I may try to eek in an excuse, but for now, sorry. Just try to enjoy the story as is.**

 **I don't own Harry Potter. Joanne Rowling does! And I'm not Joanne! Also, I don't make any money off of this. So don't sue me.**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading! Bye.**


	8. M hearts P (Is this significant?)

And now they were on their third meeting. Wow. Hermione couldn't believe it. She'd actually survived three whole meetings with Draco Malfoy. Draco. Malfoy. Today hadn't been as bad as the previous two meetings, actually.

They'd met by the lake, just to change it up. Awkwardly enough, though, Draco picked a spot known for being where all the couples came to snog and sometimes … couple. And stuff. Well, Hermione had heard secondhand. Fred, thank God, hadn't tried any of that on her. Hermione was sixteen, yes, but she was most definitely not interested in any of _that_. Actually, though, they hadn't even snogged much. Hermione had the sneaking suspicion that Fred was nervous — yes, _Fred Weasley_. Of all people. He was adorable.

But anyway. Hermione had heard secondhand, but Draco? With his reputation, he probably had plenty of experience. And she just bet that he wanted to make her squirm.

Hermione traced a set of initials carved into the tree. _M P_. Hermione wondered who those people were. Probably some ancient students. Or maybe the _M_ stood for Myrtle! Maybe Moaning Myrtle had been someone's sweetheart. Hermione giggled.

Draco cocked his head lazily. "What, Granger?"

"Oh, nothing. Anyway, how'd you do on the essay?" Hermione showed him her perfect score. "McGonagall really liked some of the edits you suggested, actually. The anecdotes, and the transitions …" She trailed off. "But what about you?"

Malfoy fidgeted with his cuff, uncharacteristically nervous. Hermione frowned. "Go on, how'd you do?" A possibility crossed her mind, and she felt faintly embarrassed not to have considered it before. "Oh. Did you, um, get a bad grade?"

Malfoy looked up, embarrassed. "No, not at all, actually. I just … McGonagall didn't grade mine since she couldn't read it."

Hermione was puzzled. "Didn't you rewrite it?"

Malfoy blushed, and Hermione felt bad. She underestimated the impact her words could have on others sometimes. Boldly, she leaned over to hug him. He was tense at first, but Hermione could tell he appreciated it.

"So, um, anything else you want to look over?" Hermione asked after they'd pulled apart awkwardly.

Malfoy shook his head, and Hermione stood up to leave, walking back to the building.

"Wait!" he cried out. Hermione turned, startled. He lowered his voice. "Sorry. Would you mind staying for a bit? We can talk and stuff." Draco seemed to register how nice he was being to her, and quickly put on an air of indifference. "I don't have anything better to do, is all," he added, and his sneer wasn't quite believable.

"Sure," Hermione said, eager despite herself.

 **A/N:** **So sorry for the short chapter and the long wait. I probably won't be putting out chapters as often as before, since I'm going to the east coast pretty soon. But never fear, this will continue. Keep reading. And reviewing.**

 **And on** **reviews. I am trying to respond to everyone, but it takes time and I'm (just a little bit) lazy about these sorts of things. I'm sure you understand. But I will get to them at some point, so never fear.**

 **As** **I'm sure you've noticed, I changed the title of this thingamajigibobber. The way I'd planned to bring up the title looks like it's not going to happen, so I'm trying a new one. As always, though, please please please tell me if you can think of anything that could possibly be a title for this thing. Amajigibobber. I really like saying that.**

 **Also** **, if anyone would like to beta for me, I'd appreciate if you'd PM me. I think it might be a good idea to get another set of eyes, but I'm not desperate enough to seek one out on my own. Skills: plot. Characterization. I'd really like to talk this whole shabang through with somebody. Spelling, grammar, and punctuation aren't a must, but of course are appreciated**.

 **I** **don't own Harry Potter, or make any money off of this.** **Thank** **you, and good night.**


	9. Not Exactly Astronomy Homework

So Fred wanted to take her on a date. Like, before Hogsmeade, which was coming up in a week and a half. She wasn't exactly sure where he was planning on taking her within Hogwarts, but that was up to him.

Hermione was lying sprawled on her bed. She had some astronomy to get done, and right now she was fastidiously avoiding actually doing it. It was important work, test prep, and it went over some important concepts that Hermione was worried she hadn't drilled into her head enough.

But all Hermione could think about was the date. _The date_. Like her. And Fred. On a date. She felt awkward about it again, though she'd been on dates before. But this felt different.

But did Fred feel the same way? Hermione thought so, but she couldn't be sure. Fred was a little bit notorious for dating. Like, a lot, and kind of carelessly.

Hermione looked down at her astronomy. There was absolutely no way she'd finish it with her mind overflowing with Fred. She needed to chat with someone to work all this out. She slipped it neatly in her Astronomy folder, and headed down to the common room with a certain ginger-haired witch in mind.

When she got to the common room, Ginny was nowhere to be seen, but Fred and Ron sat in their usual chairs by the fireplace.

"Join us for a game of chess?" Ron asked.

Fred stage whispered, "He's just mad since I kicked his sorry arse at it three times in a row. He figures you'll be easy to beat."

Ron rolled his eyes. "I can hear you, you know. And no, that's not why I want to play you."

Hermione shook her head. "Sorry. I was on my way to talk to Ginny, actually. Do you know where she is?"

"I think she's … hanging with Harry, if you know what I mean," Fred said with a wink. "I wouldn't bother them."

Hermione blushed, nodding. "Well, I'll just go walk … around, then." She climbed through the portrait, and wandered down the hallway with no particular destination in mind. Hermione stopped at random and entered the nearest classroom, sinking down at a desk. She sighed.

Someone coughed behind her. She spun around to see who it was.

"Hermione?" Of all people, _him?_

 **A/N:**

 **Hallosche. If you've read this far, all I can say is that you're an angel. Well, not a literal one, but at the very least, like, a cheese maker. Anyway. You're awesome.**

 **No betas? Please? There was a guest who commented that they'd noticed some errors. I'd love to have you beta for me, guest. Please? (My general theory is that if I say _please_ enough people will magically do what I want. It's working, right?)**

 **Oh. On typos. I write a lot of this on my phone, being a screenager and all, so autocorrect oftentimes messes up. I do try to go over it a few times, but things slip through my fingers. Review or PM me if you catch anything.**

 **Also. On the off chance that you don't absolutely hate me and my writing style, you might consider checking out my other stories. Some of them are actually okay, but please please please ignore Dire Circumstances if you do. Anyway. That was some uncharacteristic self promotion, and now I'm done.**

 **Erm. There was something else I wanted to write, but it has slipped my mind.**

 **Toodles.**

 **Ohrg, that was lame.**


	10. And They All Fall Down

Malfoy had an odd expression soon his face. It wasn't surprise, though that was how he ought to have looked, seeing goody two-shoes Hermione out late. Or revulsion, since she supposedly disgusted him. No, this was a far more foreign emotion for Malfoy, and it took Hermione a moment to recognize it in the dimly lit hallway.

Malfoy was sad.

He swiped at a tear, a surprisingly vulnerable action. Hermione put an arm around him, her own worries evaporating.

"There, there," Hermione said, putting a hand on his shoulder and sitting him down on a stone bench. She was certainly feeling bold tonight. "What's wrong?"

Malfoy didn't answer. Hermione shook her head.

"Never mind," she said. "Here, I'll …" She dug in her pocket for a clean handkerchief, but coming up with nothing but Harry's soiled one. She held it out to him apologetically. "Sorry it's so dirty, that's all I've got."

Malfoy didn't respond, instead staring at the handkerchief. Hermione immediately felt sorry she'd helped him. Why, he was rude to her and this was what he got? She shook her head, standing up to go.

This seemed to shake Malfoy out of his reverie. He put a hand on her arm, stopping her.

"Wait, Hermione," he managed, a determined look now on his face. The tears were gone now. "Thank you." He snatched the handkerchief from her almost greedily, and wiped away the tearstains. Then he shoved it in his pocket.

"Thank you," he said again, staring resolutely at Hermione's shoulder. She didn't know what to make of this. She didn't know what to make of any of his behavior.

But Hermione didn't have much time to ponder that, because Malfoy grabbed her by the shoulders just then, and kissed her.

Hermione didn't have much of say in the matter. Malfoy twined his fingers with hers, and her only thought was that this was much less romantic than she'd expected of kissing.

Then Hermione's eyes flew open and she extracted herself from Malfoy, and a barrage of rational thoughts flew in.

"Malfoy …" she said, stepping away from him. "Malfoy, I can't-"

A smooth voice interrupted her. "You can't _what_ , Hermione?" Fred asked, breathing heavily. "Can't _help_ kissing _Draco Malfoy_ When you alreadyhave a _boyfriend_ "

"Fred!" was all Hermione could come up with. "What are you doing here?"

Fred looked away. He seemed to deflate. "Getting you, actually. Ginny's back." But then his anger returned. "But don't you 'Fred!' me, Hermione Jean Granger! We're through."

Hermione's first thought was how extraordinarily soap opera-esque he sounded. Then she realized that Fred had used her full name.

"How do you know my middle name?" she asked.

"I watched you, Hermione, for years. I wanted to know everything about you." Hermione said nothing.

"You really don't get much I liked you," he said, then walked away.

After an uncomfortable moment, Malfoy opened his mouth to speak. Hermione went ballistic, her regret and sadness fueling her anger.

"Whatever you're going to say, don't say it. I don't want to hear from you. You don't just _kiss_ someone, Malfoy! You can't just do what you want! That could be considered assault, Malfoy! Consent! Is! A! Thing!" Hermione paused to catch her breath. "And even if it was okay, Malfoy, I could never like you like that. You're a rotten pig!" Hermione stormed off.

The tears came as she mumbled the password to the Fat Lady, but she hid them as she stomped through the common room, where Fred was noticably absent. She ran up the stairs to her dormitory, where she collapsed in tears.

 **A/N:**

 **What did you think? Did you like it? Did you hate it? There's more coming, obviously, but so far?**

 **I don't have much to say, except that I'd be ever so grateful if you kept reading this. And my other stuff, if you like it.**

 **So** **yeah. I don't own Harry Potter (and I'm sure J. K. Rowling is glad) and I'm not making any money off of this.**

 **Books** **are calling. Bye.**


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